In the 1960s, anthropologist Jane Briggs travelled beyond the Arctic Circle to live with Inuit on the tundra for 17 months. She found that even when the Inuit had a reason to be frustrated, they did not get angry or impulsive. Her curiosity piqued, she wanted to know how the Inuit transform tantrum-prone toddlers into cool-headed adults?
An NPR reporter travelled to the same Inuit village and found the answer in the nurturing and tender Inuit parenting style which includes:
- A no-yelling policy: the culture views scolding, raising your voice or punishment as inappropriate. If children are misbehaving, it is because they are upset and parents need to show them how to control their emotions. If parents can stay calm, children can learn how to stay calm too.
- Storytelling: stories are much more to children than bare statements; storytelling is a playful interaction with kids. Oral stories are passed down from generation to generation and are designed to sculpt children's behaviour at the moment. For example, instead of yelling at a child to 'put on your hat!!', Inuit parents tell them to beware of the northern lights; if you don't wear your hat in the winter, the lights will take your head and use it as a soccer ball!
- Morality play: when a child acts in anger, parents wait for the child to calm down and then they act out what happened when the child misbehaved. They raise questions in a playful, fun tone to make children think – it is important not to forget that play is children's work. This way, children practice a different response to stressful situations when they are not angry. They practice self-control.
As clinical psychologist Laura Markham says, '(…) what we do in responding to our child's emotions shapes their brain.' Which seems to be something the Inuit have known for a long time.
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